Manor Park Evangelical Church|Serving Christ and the Community in St. John's

I haven't always been a Christian! I say that even though I grew up believing there was a God, and occasionally going to church. What made the difference?

Growing up through family break up and difficulties made it hard for me to trust anyone. It was a relief to go away to university and to lead my own life - I could do whatever I wanted! The first person that I met when I arrived told me she was a Christian, and throughout the next few years I was able to see in her life a joy and peace that shone through in all that she did. She remained a good friend, even though I dismissed her Christian faith as stupidity.

I lived life to excess. But in reality my life was empty and nothing brought me fulfilment. Gradually I came to want what my friend had. I tried at first to copy her behaviour, to try to be good, but it was impossible - I kept failing, and that made me feel even worse.

Eventually I went along to a church service with my friend, and although I don't remember anything that was said that evening, I do remember realising that there was an emptiness and meaninglessness in my life that seemed impossible to change.

I told my friend, who suggested that I read John's gospel in the Bible. This I read again and again and what I read seemed to promise a real relationship with God, something that would bring meaning to my life. But how could I trust God, when I had not been able to trust anyone? I read that God had given his own Son, Jesus Christ to die for me on the cross, because of the wrong that I have done.

Eventually I came to understand this truth, I put my trust in Jesus Christ and the peace and joy that my friend had became mine. I saw a new purpose and meaning in life.

Over the years, I have come to understand more and more what this forgiveness and new life that God promises really means for me. It helps me to live day by day, and I have the Bible to help me to see that God's promises are true. I know that I can trust that God is with me in all the circumstances of my life. But it is also true that since I have become a Christian difficult experiences and situations have not gone away.

I have at various times struggled with depression, loss and hard family situations that have at times seemed like a deep dark tunnel with no end in sight. But even in the darkest times I know that the promises God makes are true. I know that he will never leave me or forsake me, I know that he will help me to live each day, he will forgive me when I fail and make mistakes (that's often!), and he promises hope for the future.

Kirsten is married to Andy. They live in St John's with their three young boys.

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