Sheldon Vanauken wrote this autobiographical book in 1977. The events in the story began just before the second world war and go right into the 1950’s. There are three elements in the book. The first few chapters are taken up with a love story between two young people. Their desire to stay and keep ‘in love’ and their resolve not to allow anything to creep into their relationship to mar it makes interesting reading. It was the centre of their lives and became their idol. Vanauken called it a ‘Pagan love’. They were to learn later on in the book that their own human love paled into insignificance at the love of God.

Sheldon Vanauken and his wife Jean (Davy) were American intellectuals who came to Oxford to study. The second element in the book is their search for God, which began on their arrival at Oxford. Having regarded Christianity as rubbish at an early age and determined to have nothing to do with it, he found himself surrounded by nuclear physicists, historians, able scholars who deeply believed in Christ. To the author, Christianity was quite inadequate for the immensities of the far flung galaxies. How, he thought could any intelligent person actually believe that an obscure crucified Jew was God. Now he came face to face with highly intelligent people who believed that and he was forced to rethink again his early dismissal of Christianity. It was at Oxford that Sheldon and Davy first became acquainted with CS Lewis. At first through his books. Sheldon commented that Lewis wrote about Christianity in a style as ‘clear as spring water without a hint of sanctimonious or vagueness or double talk.’

A close friendship developed between them and the book contains some eighteen letters written by Lewis to the author in response to his many questions about the Christian faith. His letters are pure gems. The young couple knew that being a Christian was not about doing good but was all about the claims of Christ and who He is. ‘I want to know God if He is knowable’ is what he wrote to Lewis in one of his early letters It was Davy who first committed her life to Christ and was utterly and completely changed, laying all on the altar for Him. Davy’s premature death at 30 something brings us to the third element - that of bereavement and grief. Here is a man grieving deeply, seeking to make sense of his dearest love taken from him, and finally coming to see and acknowledge God’s wonderful Grace and Mercy through it. A severe mercy as Lewis pointed out in one of his letters. The book is not clothed in an evangelical mould and some may question its place in a biblical church library because of his leaning towards the Catholic Church. But the Lord has those who are His in that environment and is able to keep them close to him. I believe Sheldon Vanauken was one of them.

Reviewed by Patricia Hindle